My question involves a child custody case from the State of: New York
I have tried to organize this as best as I can so you can understand my questions.
Court/Legal Background:
In January 2008 the NYS Supreme Court granted me (mom) sole custody of our developmentally disabled daughter, who is now 16.
This was after other legal proceedings (assault charges) where my daughter's father had admitted to domestic violence and paid a fine. I had an Order of Protection against him that expired in 2010.
At the same time as custody, the judge also issued an order for supervised visitation 2 hrs on alternate Saturdays, and noted my friend as the designated person to supervise. She lives about halfway between our homes, dad lives in Philadelphia PA. There were other specifications, like he could not drink prior to the visits, or disparage me and vice-verse.
Visitation History:
Dad made 12 visits with our daughter from January 19 to November 8, 2008. He did not try to see her again (so show, no call) until December 12, 2009. My friend and he spoke, but did not make plans as he said he was extremely ill, it hurt to hold the phone and hung up. (He has told me since he is on morphine for back pain)
I allowed him to come to my home to see our daughter on July 1, 2010 after a court date for him to modify child support (19 months after he had last seen her).
Since then he has shown up unannounced 2 or 3 times a year at my home to visit her. He stays for 30-60 minutes. I stay with them while he is here, because our daughter, who is on the autism spectrum has stranger and social anxiety - and he is virtually a stranger to her, one that hurt her mother years ago (she witnessed the abuse). I tried to promote his involvement in her life, which is why I allowed him to my home to see her and urged him to be consistent so he could have a relationship with her.
This past year he came at Christmas, at Easter and most recently on Sept 11. In December 2013 he accused me of "ruining her (our daughter) life" and on September 11, 2014 he said that I "stole money from him in child support" and went on about that till I asked him to leave my home. (He never voluntarily gave me child support, but is on disability for the last two years and they send me $200 a month.)
As much as I wanted to avoid conflict with him (so allowed him to see her here) - he is often verbally abusive to me when he comes (in front of our daughter) and I fear he could become physically violent since he did beat and choke me in 2007. I try to explain to him he can come to my home to visit her if he is civil. Otherwise he needs to call the designated supervisor of visitation and make arrangements to see our daughter. He has told me he will never agree to supervised visits again.
Current Situation
He has now filed summonses against me for:
1. lower child support (not a worry, as I have made do with nothing before, even though I am unemployed right now) and
2. modification of visitation - claiming "I never let him take his daughter out and do not cooperate with scheduling visits." He claims "the order was changed in 2011, but there is no indication in the court records" (because it was not). He also states that "supervisor ordered in the final order can no longer supervise the visits and he (dad) feels he does not require supervised visits."
I do not want to keep him from seeing his daughter, but he is not a stable person (alcohol and drugs) and I want to keep the visits supervised for my daughter's safety and her psychic comfort. (The ONE time I let him take her supposedly 1/2 mile away to his friend's home without me in 2011, I found them across the bridge in New Jersey, my daughter locked in a hot car and him buying 1/2 gallon of rum in the liquor store. I do have a witness to that event. I took her home with me immediately.)
My Questions
1. I kept a log and notes of the visitations from Jan 19, 2008 through Sept 25, 2011. Is this submittable in court?
2. The woman who is named as the supervisor can still do visitation, and has always been willing to do so. Can I submit a notarized statement to that effect to the court?
3. I have a lot of documentation about my daughter's condition, should I bring copies of that to court?
4. A "referee" is assigned to the case - what does that mean?
5. And lastly, as I am representing myself currently, what can I expect in court and how can I best prepare?
Thank you so very much for your guidance.
A concerned mom in NYC
I have tried to organize this as best as I can so you can understand my questions.
Court/Legal Background:
In January 2008 the NYS Supreme Court granted me (mom) sole custody of our developmentally disabled daughter, who is now 16.
This was after other legal proceedings (assault charges) where my daughter's father had admitted to domestic violence and paid a fine. I had an Order of Protection against him that expired in 2010.
At the same time as custody, the judge also issued an order for supervised visitation 2 hrs on alternate Saturdays, and noted my friend as the designated person to supervise. She lives about halfway between our homes, dad lives in Philadelphia PA. There were other specifications, like he could not drink prior to the visits, or disparage me and vice-verse.
Visitation History:
Dad made 12 visits with our daughter from January 19 to November 8, 2008. He did not try to see her again (so show, no call) until December 12, 2009. My friend and he spoke, but did not make plans as he said he was extremely ill, it hurt to hold the phone and hung up. (He has told me since he is on morphine for back pain)
I allowed him to come to my home to see our daughter on July 1, 2010 after a court date for him to modify child support (19 months after he had last seen her).
Since then he has shown up unannounced 2 or 3 times a year at my home to visit her. He stays for 30-60 minutes. I stay with them while he is here, because our daughter, who is on the autism spectrum has stranger and social anxiety - and he is virtually a stranger to her, one that hurt her mother years ago (she witnessed the abuse). I tried to promote his involvement in her life, which is why I allowed him to my home to see her and urged him to be consistent so he could have a relationship with her.
This past year he came at Christmas, at Easter and most recently on Sept 11. In December 2013 he accused me of "ruining her (our daughter) life" and on September 11, 2014 he said that I "stole money from him in child support" and went on about that till I asked him to leave my home. (He never voluntarily gave me child support, but is on disability for the last two years and they send me $200 a month.)
As much as I wanted to avoid conflict with him (so allowed him to see her here) - he is often verbally abusive to me when he comes (in front of our daughter) and I fear he could become physically violent since he did beat and choke me in 2007. I try to explain to him he can come to my home to visit her if he is civil. Otherwise he needs to call the designated supervisor of visitation and make arrangements to see our daughter. He has told me he will never agree to supervised visits again.
Current Situation
He has now filed summonses against me for:
1. lower child support (not a worry, as I have made do with nothing before, even though I am unemployed right now) and
2. modification of visitation - claiming "I never let him take his daughter out and do not cooperate with scheduling visits." He claims "the order was changed in 2011, but there is no indication in the court records" (because it was not). He also states that "supervisor ordered in the final order can no longer supervise the visits and he (dad) feels he does not require supervised visits."
I do not want to keep him from seeing his daughter, but he is not a stable person (alcohol and drugs) and I want to keep the visits supervised for my daughter's safety and her psychic comfort. (The ONE time I let him take her supposedly 1/2 mile away to his friend's home without me in 2011, I found them across the bridge in New Jersey, my daughter locked in a hot car and him buying 1/2 gallon of rum in the liquor store. I do have a witness to that event. I took her home with me immediately.)
My Questions
1. I kept a log and notes of the visitations from Jan 19, 2008 through Sept 25, 2011. Is this submittable in court?
2. The woman who is named as the supervisor can still do visitation, and has always been willing to do so. Can I submit a notarized statement to that effect to the court?
3. I have a lot of documentation about my daughter's condition, should I bring copies of that to court?
4. A "referee" is assigned to the case - what does that mean?
5. And lastly, as I am representing myself currently, what can I expect in court and how can I best prepare?
Thank you so very much for your guidance.
A concerned mom in NYC
Custody and Visitation Issues: What Documents May I Present and What to Expect in Family Court
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