My question involves estate proceedings in the state of: Illinois
Hello all and thanks for this forum!
Ok, here is my situation...it's something that could have and should have been avoided, but oh well. It involves the passing of my father and his estate.
The history behind the estate is a bit dramatic. My mother passed away many years before dad and mom was the one with the most money sense and it's generally agreed to that they would have nothing if not for mom's insistence on saving, etc. So, when mom passed, there was fair size estate and cash.
Shortly before mom did, my brother(I have a sister too) got into deep marital and financial trouble, he asked mom/dad for upwards of $30k to pay off GAMBLING debt...he ran up that much on credit cards in gambling debt.
Brother had several demons, gambling was one, drinking the other. Drinking affected my dad as well and they were pretty much co-dependents.
Throughout the 14 years since mom died, brother Ed drank heavily and borrowed a lot from dad. I spoke with dad on this and there was roughly $75K of gift/loans to my brother over the years. Dad paid off the ~$30k of gambling debt, bought a mobile home for $37k and I think one other large loan. throughout the years, brother became quite Ill and couldn't work for long periods of time before finally going on disability for the last 2 years of his life (he died about 16 months before dad did) leaving myself, our sister, dad and his only son.
Brother's estate was minimal, with exception of sizable life insurance policy. I executed and gave everything to nephew...even before all creditors were paid(I'd better start a separate thread on that one!) with the exception of his trailer. Brother willed that to myself and sister as brother felt it was fair since dad had bought it for him.
The sick part of all this as we went thru brother's finances, there check duplicates going back for nearly 14 years. I looked at most of them. All I looked at, month after month, year after year, had an average of around $1000/month written to various bars in town....well over $100k spent over 14 years since passing of mom.
Yet, brother lived in squalor, no improvements to trailer, etc. It was quite pathetic and my nephew had zero control over any of this, he and his dad did seem to have a great relationship, but there was lots of trouble caused by brother's drinking.
Sorry for the sorted history, but this brings us to dad's estate and what is fair and am curious to thoughts and opinions. My sister and I have been tormented by dad/brothers drinking for years and were concerned about all the money being burnt up by brother...it's bothersome as we both watched how mom scrimped, saved and went without to accumulate what wealth they had and it was nearly all squandered.
Dad's estate consists of a small house, small piece of rural property, a 10 yr old, but nice car and $34k of mutual funds (this is what was left of the ~$200k when mom died) and life ins. policy.
Dad changed ben. on life insurance to sister and I, but did not change his will from '99, so it still lists brother as heir.
Probate process has started and of course, heirship of brother would go to his son. Normally, I wouldn't have a problem with this, but am struggling with what is fair.
On one hand, my nephew did suffer, he's my brother's son and had no control over the actions of dad or brother and thus should share equally.
On the other hand, brother pretty much drank away everything, but did leave ~200k in life insurance, and I gathered another $9k from sales of brother's car, checking acct, etc paid a few deserving creditors and told several others to get stuffed...to ensure as much as possible could go to nephew (wrong I understand now).
My sister and I are struggling with this. Should work with nephew to determine what is equitable or just let the process work as normal. Either way has potential to divide the family.
Sorry for the drama...all this could have been avoided with an updated will.
Hello all and thanks for this forum!
Ok, here is my situation...it's something that could have and should have been avoided, but oh well. It involves the passing of my father and his estate.
The history behind the estate is a bit dramatic. My mother passed away many years before dad and mom was the one with the most money sense and it's generally agreed to that they would have nothing if not for mom's insistence on saving, etc. So, when mom passed, there was fair size estate and cash.
Shortly before mom did, my brother(I have a sister too) got into deep marital and financial trouble, he asked mom/dad for upwards of $30k to pay off GAMBLING debt...he ran up that much on credit cards in gambling debt.
Brother had several demons, gambling was one, drinking the other. Drinking affected my dad as well and they were pretty much co-dependents.
Throughout the 14 years since mom died, brother Ed drank heavily and borrowed a lot from dad. I spoke with dad on this and there was roughly $75K of gift/loans to my brother over the years. Dad paid off the ~$30k of gambling debt, bought a mobile home for $37k and I think one other large loan. throughout the years, brother became quite Ill and couldn't work for long periods of time before finally going on disability for the last 2 years of his life (he died about 16 months before dad did) leaving myself, our sister, dad and his only son.
Brother's estate was minimal, with exception of sizable life insurance policy. I executed and gave everything to nephew...even before all creditors were paid(I'd better start a separate thread on that one!) with the exception of his trailer. Brother willed that to myself and sister as brother felt it was fair since dad had bought it for him.
The sick part of all this as we went thru brother's finances, there check duplicates going back for nearly 14 years. I looked at most of them. All I looked at, month after month, year after year, had an average of around $1000/month written to various bars in town....well over $100k spent over 14 years since passing of mom.
Yet, brother lived in squalor, no improvements to trailer, etc. It was quite pathetic and my nephew had zero control over any of this, he and his dad did seem to have a great relationship, but there was lots of trouble caused by brother's drinking.
Sorry for the sorted history, but this brings us to dad's estate and what is fair and am curious to thoughts and opinions. My sister and I have been tormented by dad/brothers drinking for years and were concerned about all the money being burnt up by brother...it's bothersome as we both watched how mom scrimped, saved and went without to accumulate what wealth they had and it was nearly all squandered.
Dad's estate consists of a small house, small piece of rural property, a 10 yr old, but nice car and $34k of mutual funds (this is what was left of the ~$200k when mom died) and life ins. policy.
Dad changed ben. on life insurance to sister and I, but did not change his will from '99, so it still lists brother as heir.
Probate process has started and of course, heirship of brother would go to his son. Normally, I wouldn't have a problem with this, but am struggling with what is fair.
On one hand, my nephew did suffer, he's my brother's son and had no control over the actions of dad or brother and thus should share equally.
On the other hand, brother pretty much drank away everything, but did leave ~200k in life insurance, and I gathered another $9k from sales of brother's car, checking acct, etc paid a few deserving creditors and told several others to get stuffed...to ensure as much as possible could go to nephew (wrong I understand now).
My sister and I are struggling with this. Should work with nephew to determine what is equitable or just let the process work as normal. Either way has potential to divide the family.
Sorry for the drama...all this could have been avoided with an updated will.
Heirs and Beneficiaries: Fairness, Outdated Will and Probate
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