My question involves a child custody case from the State of: California
My husband and I are trying to work up an agreeable custody and visitation schedule for his 11 year old son. The only court orders in effect were temporary orders from 10 years ago granting my husband visitation every other weekend, splitting holidays, very generic, etc. As it is now, she has full control over the schedule and argues with every request we make for time around the holidays or over the summer. Basically, we need something in writing because right now my husband has no choice but to accept whatever time/terms she decides including the schedule. We have spent the time to draft an updated agreement which still grants her full physical custody and my husband visitation every other weekend plus splitting school breaks. We gave her a copy of the proposed agreement and asked her to either sign or write down any changes she would like. After a month of putting us off, she finally responded saying that she will not agree to anything we have proposed and doesn't want anything in writing that "binds us" to a schedule. We would like to continue to negotiate in good faith before taking this to court so are attempting to address her specific disagreements. #1 being that she will not allow him to stay for breaks unless one of us is home the entire time with written verification from our employer. My husband's retired parents live behind us, and his uncle next door, in addition I have a 15 year old son who is with me every other week, so he would never be alone, even if one of us had to work. Rather than argue with her about how ridiculous it is for her to be able to use grandparents or teenage babysitters but we can't, we would like to come up with some wording that we can add to the agreement that states he would always have responsible supervision. Does anyone have suggested wording? The #2 issue is in regards to missed weekends. Currently there are a couple of winter months where my husband has to work on the weekends. Whenever this happens she changes the schedule, basically we lose the time we would have had my SS & start the schedule of every other week over again the next weekend my husband has off (if she doesn't have plans already). We proposed that the schedule of weekends stays the same (better for both of us for planning purposes) and that the time missed would be made up in one of two ways - she has the option to either let us have him on a weekend not normally scheduled for visitation or we can add it to the summer visitation. For this reason we only asked for 2 weeks at summer instead of 4 weeks, anticipating that there may be time added. Is there anyway to make this more reasonable? She has made it clear she intends to fight us all the way to court, but there really is no reason that we can't come up with something that satisfies her concerns. We realize that we will still end up filing papers in court because having anything in writing requires her to give up some of her control, but we hope that heading off her concerns will make the mediation process more successful for us. Any suggestions are appreciated. Thank you.
My husband and I are trying to work up an agreeable custody and visitation schedule for his 11 year old son. The only court orders in effect were temporary orders from 10 years ago granting my husband visitation every other weekend, splitting holidays, very generic, etc. As it is now, she has full control over the schedule and argues with every request we make for time around the holidays or over the summer. Basically, we need something in writing because right now my husband has no choice but to accept whatever time/terms she decides including the schedule. We have spent the time to draft an updated agreement which still grants her full physical custody and my husband visitation every other weekend plus splitting school breaks. We gave her a copy of the proposed agreement and asked her to either sign or write down any changes she would like. After a month of putting us off, she finally responded saying that she will not agree to anything we have proposed and doesn't want anything in writing that "binds us" to a schedule. We would like to continue to negotiate in good faith before taking this to court so are attempting to address her specific disagreements. #1 being that she will not allow him to stay for breaks unless one of us is home the entire time with written verification from our employer. My husband's retired parents live behind us, and his uncle next door, in addition I have a 15 year old son who is with me every other week, so he would never be alone, even if one of us had to work. Rather than argue with her about how ridiculous it is for her to be able to use grandparents or teenage babysitters but we can't, we would like to come up with some wording that we can add to the agreement that states he would always have responsible supervision. Does anyone have suggested wording? The #2 issue is in regards to missed weekends. Currently there are a couple of winter months where my husband has to work on the weekends. Whenever this happens she changes the schedule, basically we lose the time we would have had my SS & start the schedule of every other week over again the next weekend my husband has off (if she doesn't have plans already). We proposed that the schedule of weekends stays the same (better for both of us for planning purposes) and that the time missed would be made up in one of two ways - she has the option to either let us have him on a weekend not normally scheduled for visitation or we can add it to the summer visitation. For this reason we only asked for 2 weeks at summer instead of 4 weeks, anticipating that there may be time added. Is there anyway to make this more reasonable? She has made it clear she intends to fight us all the way to court, but there really is no reason that we can't come up with something that satisfies her concerns. We realize that we will still end up filing papers in court because having anything in writing requires her to give up some of her control, but we hope that heading off her concerns will make the mediation process more successful for us. Any suggestions are appreciated. Thank you.
Custody and Visitation Issues: Coming Up with a Workable Visitation Plan
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