My question involves a child custody case from the State of: CA
I have a 13yr old son and I am the non-custodial parent. My visitation is every other weekend with split holidays and has been for 12 years. Two years ago, my son told me and my wife he wanted to live with us. His mother and step-dad were separated due to her having an affair and becoming pregnant with the other man. Obviously, this was very upsetting to my son because there were many changes. We were informed that unless his mother agreed to the change in custody or unless there was a significant change in the living situation, we would not be able to change the custody. Now he is 13 and still wishes to live with me. The situation at his mother's has worsened. She has now had three more children with two more men making for a grand total of 9 kids. For a weirder twist, during this time, she has lived with her ex-husband because she has no other place to go with all of her kids. This situation has upset my son. He is embarrassed, confused, and bothered by the whole situation. His mother is currently living with the father of the last two children and my son lives with his ex step-dad and brothers and sisters. His step-dad has been there since he was a baby and my son views and loves him like a dad. My son has informed me that he has not stayed at his mother's since before Christmas(at least 9 months) and he has only met her boyfriend once. She comes over to her ex's almost everyday to help because her house is only a 2 bedroom and the older kids can't live with her, not that they want to. My son absolutely does not live with his mother. She leaves every night at 7-8:00. She also has been investigated by CPS for an incident with another child. I also seriously doubt any of the child support I give her goes to my son's step-dad or his household. My son is the oldest of the kids and is responsible for watching his younger siblings too often and because he is the oldest, he is left to do most things on his own, which includes no one checking if he did his homework. I have tried to talk to him about his responsibilities with schoolwork, but he is not with me during the week, so he gets away with hiding work and lying about homework. I have the report cards to prove it. It's really sad because he is very bright. My plan of action is to speak with my son's mother about him wanting to live with me, my wife, and our 3 kids. My son wants to try and talk with her reasonably, hoping that we will not have to go to court and fight over it. He is scared of telling her and wants to do it together. I completely agree with him and am willing to try. For the best interest of my son, I want him to spend more than every other weekend with his mom and step-dad. I am willing to work out a visitation schedule that is fair. I am not expecting it to go well. I plan to have the proper paperwork ready to be filed to modify the custody before speaking with her. My question is: Has there been a significant enough change in circumstances to modify the custody? Does the fact that my son wants to live with me and he is 13 matter? Also, is his mother doing anything illegal by not having my son not live with her, or letting him live with me, but with someone who has no legal right to him because she cannot provide a place for him to sleep at her house?One more thing that might help my case, Is she committing anything illegal my collecting child support when he doesn't live with her? Sorry this is so long, it was nice to vent! Thank you for your time.
I have a 13yr old son and I am the non-custodial parent. My visitation is every other weekend with split holidays and has been for 12 years. Two years ago, my son told me and my wife he wanted to live with us. His mother and step-dad were separated due to her having an affair and becoming pregnant with the other man. Obviously, this was very upsetting to my son because there were many changes. We were informed that unless his mother agreed to the change in custody or unless there was a significant change in the living situation, we would not be able to change the custody. Now he is 13 and still wishes to live with me. The situation at his mother's has worsened. She has now had three more children with two more men making for a grand total of 9 kids. For a weirder twist, during this time, she has lived with her ex-husband because she has no other place to go with all of her kids. This situation has upset my son. He is embarrassed, confused, and bothered by the whole situation. His mother is currently living with the father of the last two children and my son lives with his ex step-dad and brothers and sisters. His step-dad has been there since he was a baby and my son views and loves him like a dad. My son has informed me that he has not stayed at his mother's since before Christmas(at least 9 months) and he has only met her boyfriend once. She comes over to her ex's almost everyday to help because her house is only a 2 bedroom and the older kids can't live with her, not that they want to. My son absolutely does not live with his mother. She leaves every night at 7-8:00. She also has been investigated by CPS for an incident with another child. I also seriously doubt any of the child support I give her goes to my son's step-dad or his household. My son is the oldest of the kids and is responsible for watching his younger siblings too often and because he is the oldest, he is left to do most things on his own, which includes no one checking if he did his homework. I have tried to talk to him about his responsibilities with schoolwork, but he is not with me during the week, so he gets away with hiding work and lying about homework. I have the report cards to prove it. It's really sad because he is very bright. My plan of action is to speak with my son's mother about him wanting to live with me, my wife, and our 3 kids. My son wants to try and talk with her reasonably, hoping that we will not have to go to court and fight over it. He is scared of telling her and wants to do it together. I completely agree with him and am willing to try. For the best interest of my son, I want him to spend more than every other weekend with his mom and step-dad. I am willing to work out a visitation schedule that is fair. I am not expecting it to go well. I plan to have the proper paperwork ready to be filed to modify the custody before speaking with her. My question is: Has there been a significant enough change in circumstances to modify the custody? Does the fact that my son wants to live with me and he is 13 matter? Also, is his mother doing anything illegal by not having my son not live with her, or letting him live with me, but with someone who has no legal right to him because she cannot provide a place for him to sleep at her house?One more thing that might help my case, Is she committing anything illegal my collecting child support when he doesn't live with her? Sorry this is so long, it was nice to vent! Thank you for your time.
Modification of Custody: Modification of Custody
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