My question involves criminal law for the state of: Louisiana
I've already consulted with one lawyer on this, and have retained him for my defense, but I asked a question of him that I'd like to get a second opinion on. This is a long story, so please bear with me.
In December of 2013, I broke up with my girlfriend of almost a year. At the time, she was living in my home, and she was 3 months pregnant. At the time, the child was assumed to be mine. I broke up with her and kicked her out of my house after I discovered she was cheating with a probation officer that she worked with. She is an addiction counselor for a state-run addiction clinic here. In the following months, I was pretty upset and I think justifiably so. I said some things to her and to her new boyfriend who she is still seeing and is now living with that in hindsight I should not have said, but I stand by every statement as accurate from my own point of view. Needless to say, there was much tension between the 3 of us during the remainder of her pregnancy. To this day she has still not expressed any remorse whatsoever for what she did.
When she had the baby in May of this year (2014), she texted me to let me know she was going into labor. She invited me to be at the hospital, but not in the delivery room. By the time she had gone into labor, I had mentioned several times that although the child has a good chance of being mine, because she cheated, and because it wasn't the first time in our relationship that I caught her cheating, I would need a paternity test before I can sign my name to anything. She didn't like it. But she seemed to understand that I was not going to budge on that.
After his birth, for about a month or so, we got along fairly well. I helped out whenever she needed it. I got to keep the baby myself overnight a time or 2 during that period. I helped her out with some supplies and clothes, and I paid for his circumcision myself in its entirety. Things were going fairly well, I thought. But then after 4 weeks, she started pushing her doctor to give her a medical release to go back to work. Of course at 4 weeks old, no day care would take him. He has to be at least 6 weeks old for that. So to accommodate her, I called a few friends, one of whom was a stay-at-home mom whose husband I used to work with. He was unemployed at the time, so I offered $20 a day if his wife would like to keep the baby during the day while she worked. It worked out great for everyone. I told my ex about it, and told her that I could cover part of the money, but not all of it. And she was fine with that... until he next week. Something had gone wrong with payroll at her job, or so she claimed, and she was going to be short for the following week. Money was tight with me too, and I told her she'll have to find some way to come up with her half of the money or she may have to find someone else to watch the baby. She got extremely pissed that I didn't offer to pay all of it. She got very rude with me over it. And then she told me "You're not on his birth certificate so I don't have to let you see him if you're not going to support him." And seeing as how I had been supporting willingly up to this point, I flipped it around on her... Well if I have no right to see him because I'm not on the birth certificate, then I also don't have any obligation to support him. I'm doing everything I can and you can't have it both ways.
Since that day, I have seen the child for a total of 2 hours. He's now 6 months old as of the time I'm writing this.
In the time since we basically cut each other off, I've been relentlessly reaching out to her to try to set up a paternity test and come to some kind of arrangement where I could see the baby. On 2 separate occasions, we came to an agreement. By this time neither of us really wanted to trust the other, so I told her that I would go to my lawyer, have her draft the terms of the agreement and we could have everything on paper and get it approved by a judge. On both occasions, she backed out of the agreement over what I would consider some very petty BS right before my appointment to get the agreement drafted.
Now, after the 2nd time she did this, I was frustrated. Anyone would be, I think. I might have used a frustrated tone with her at times, but never once did I threaten her in any way. I asked her questions in attempt to understand what her issues were, because they were not clear to me. She completely shut down. Refused to communicate. At this point, I tried about once a week, sometimes twice to reach out and see if I could get her to talk again. After a few weeks of being completely ignored, I reached out to her boyfriend. By that point, she was already pregnant again, assuming by him this time. So I figured he should have just as much interest as anyone else as far as resolving the issues between me and her. Her actions never attempted to resolve anything, and seemed to intentionally stretch out this process. Whether she was doing it because she's maybe not so sure what the result of the paternity test might be, or because she just enjoys torturing me, I can't say.
A day after I reached out to her boyfriend, I was sitting at my desk at work, and in walked 2 city marshalls. They had me stand up, cuffed me, read me my rights, and informed me that they had a warrant issued against me for stalking. I was transported to another Parish, where the boyfriend resides and was formerly a police officer there, and booked into the Parish Jail for stalking HIM. I posted bail, and was out the same day. Have since gone to the court date in that Parish and plead not guilty. At my arraignment, the prosecutor said to the judge after I entered my plea that the charges he was going to pursue would be for "telephone harassment". I have a trial date coming up next month for that.
After that, I cut all communications with anyone associated with her. The just last week, I get visited at my office once again by 2 city marshalls. Same result. This time they picked me up for telephone harassment and for cyberstalking. One charge was filed in the Parish I worked in. The other in the Parish I reside in. So I have 3 different charges in 3 different Parishes. And she also filed for a restraining order in the Parish I reside in.
I have missed 3 days of work because of this. Have spent more than a full day including an overnight in jail. I paid out over $1,000 in bail. And I've been forced to hire a criminal attorney which is costing me over $5,000. The attorney says there's no way the restraining order will hold up. He'll have to do some work on the other 3 cases to find out what evidence they used to press charges before we'll know what might come of those cases if anything.
What I need to know is this... What is my recourse for the damage done to me in this? Financially, this is killing me. It's ruined my relationship with my employer, who I think is only keeping me employed at this time because of any legal ramifications they may face if I'm found innocent of all the charges, as I fully expect to be. I truly believe that this man, a former police officer and currently a probation officer, has abused the law in order to harass me. My lawyer, however, says that it's very rare that anything comes of suing an officer. But I feel like I cannot let this slide. If I can't get any of the cost he has forced me to incur, I at least want to send a message that I will not allow him to arbitrarily file false charges on me just to make my life difficult.
What should I do?
I've already consulted with one lawyer on this, and have retained him for my defense, but I asked a question of him that I'd like to get a second opinion on. This is a long story, so please bear with me.
In December of 2013, I broke up with my girlfriend of almost a year. At the time, she was living in my home, and she was 3 months pregnant. At the time, the child was assumed to be mine. I broke up with her and kicked her out of my house after I discovered she was cheating with a probation officer that she worked with. She is an addiction counselor for a state-run addiction clinic here. In the following months, I was pretty upset and I think justifiably so. I said some things to her and to her new boyfriend who she is still seeing and is now living with that in hindsight I should not have said, but I stand by every statement as accurate from my own point of view. Needless to say, there was much tension between the 3 of us during the remainder of her pregnancy. To this day she has still not expressed any remorse whatsoever for what she did.
When she had the baby in May of this year (2014), she texted me to let me know she was going into labor. She invited me to be at the hospital, but not in the delivery room. By the time she had gone into labor, I had mentioned several times that although the child has a good chance of being mine, because she cheated, and because it wasn't the first time in our relationship that I caught her cheating, I would need a paternity test before I can sign my name to anything. She didn't like it. But she seemed to understand that I was not going to budge on that.
After his birth, for about a month or so, we got along fairly well. I helped out whenever she needed it. I got to keep the baby myself overnight a time or 2 during that period. I helped her out with some supplies and clothes, and I paid for his circumcision myself in its entirety. Things were going fairly well, I thought. But then after 4 weeks, she started pushing her doctor to give her a medical release to go back to work. Of course at 4 weeks old, no day care would take him. He has to be at least 6 weeks old for that. So to accommodate her, I called a few friends, one of whom was a stay-at-home mom whose husband I used to work with. He was unemployed at the time, so I offered $20 a day if his wife would like to keep the baby during the day while she worked. It worked out great for everyone. I told my ex about it, and told her that I could cover part of the money, but not all of it. And she was fine with that... until he next week. Something had gone wrong with payroll at her job, or so she claimed, and she was going to be short for the following week. Money was tight with me too, and I told her she'll have to find some way to come up with her half of the money or she may have to find someone else to watch the baby. She got extremely pissed that I didn't offer to pay all of it. She got very rude with me over it. And then she told me "You're not on his birth certificate so I don't have to let you see him if you're not going to support him." And seeing as how I had been supporting willingly up to this point, I flipped it around on her... Well if I have no right to see him because I'm not on the birth certificate, then I also don't have any obligation to support him. I'm doing everything I can and you can't have it both ways.
Since that day, I have seen the child for a total of 2 hours. He's now 6 months old as of the time I'm writing this.
In the time since we basically cut each other off, I've been relentlessly reaching out to her to try to set up a paternity test and come to some kind of arrangement where I could see the baby. On 2 separate occasions, we came to an agreement. By this time neither of us really wanted to trust the other, so I told her that I would go to my lawyer, have her draft the terms of the agreement and we could have everything on paper and get it approved by a judge. On both occasions, she backed out of the agreement over what I would consider some very petty BS right before my appointment to get the agreement drafted.
Now, after the 2nd time she did this, I was frustrated. Anyone would be, I think. I might have used a frustrated tone with her at times, but never once did I threaten her in any way. I asked her questions in attempt to understand what her issues were, because they were not clear to me. She completely shut down. Refused to communicate. At this point, I tried about once a week, sometimes twice to reach out and see if I could get her to talk again. After a few weeks of being completely ignored, I reached out to her boyfriend. By that point, she was already pregnant again, assuming by him this time. So I figured he should have just as much interest as anyone else as far as resolving the issues between me and her. Her actions never attempted to resolve anything, and seemed to intentionally stretch out this process. Whether she was doing it because she's maybe not so sure what the result of the paternity test might be, or because she just enjoys torturing me, I can't say.
A day after I reached out to her boyfriend, I was sitting at my desk at work, and in walked 2 city marshalls. They had me stand up, cuffed me, read me my rights, and informed me that they had a warrant issued against me for stalking. I was transported to another Parish, where the boyfriend resides and was formerly a police officer there, and booked into the Parish Jail for stalking HIM. I posted bail, and was out the same day. Have since gone to the court date in that Parish and plead not guilty. At my arraignment, the prosecutor said to the judge after I entered my plea that the charges he was going to pursue would be for "telephone harassment". I have a trial date coming up next month for that.
After that, I cut all communications with anyone associated with her. The just last week, I get visited at my office once again by 2 city marshalls. Same result. This time they picked me up for telephone harassment and for cyberstalking. One charge was filed in the Parish I worked in. The other in the Parish I reside in. So I have 3 different charges in 3 different Parishes. And she also filed for a restraining order in the Parish I reside in.
I have missed 3 days of work because of this. Have spent more than a full day including an overnight in jail. I paid out over $1,000 in bail. And I've been forced to hire a criminal attorney which is costing me over $5,000. The attorney says there's no way the restraining order will hold up. He'll have to do some work on the other 3 cases to find out what evidence they used to press charges before we'll know what might come of those cases if anything.
What I need to know is this... What is my recourse for the damage done to me in this? Financially, this is killing me. It's ruined my relationship with my employer, who I think is only keeping me employed at this time because of any legal ramifications they may face if I'm found innocent of all the charges, as I fully expect to be. I truly believe that this man, a former police officer and currently a probation officer, has abused the law in order to harass me. My lawyer, however, says that it's very rare that anything comes of suing an officer. But I feel like I cannot let this slide. If I can't get any of the cost he has forced me to incur, I at least want to send a message that I will not allow him to arbitrarily file false charges on me just to make my life difficult.
What should I do?
Harassment: Do I Have a Case Against the Person Who Pressed Charges
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