Warning: This is a fairly complex scenario!
I have a five-year old child with a woman with whom I was never married. Until late 2014, everyone involved (myself, the child, the mother) lived in New York. This changed when the mother took the child and moved to Kansas to move in with her girlfriend. All of the child's family lived in New York and had no other relatives remotely close to Kansas. My son and his mother had lived with his grandmother for the first five years of his life. Financially, the grandmother supported the two of them more or less. On 90% of weekends, my son would stay with me and/or my father. I never had a child support order and rarely made "formal" payments to my son's mother. (Largely because of the fact that she was largely reliant on her mother.) Nonetheless, early on, I calculated percentages of my income and signed a piece of paper with her. Other support I provided was non-official/undocumented and was by means of regularly caring for him on weekends. After my son moved to Kansas, I decided to leave New York (with my own financial problems looming as well) and move to Arizona to live with my girlfriend.
The disputes between us emerged last year when she requested that I start sending her payments like I used to. I acknowledged this but told her it would have to wait a couple of months until I wasn't so broke. (Long story short: I was unemployed and going broke because of a failed business venture that had gone disastrously.) Fast forward to this January of 2015, I'm settled in Arizona and finally got a job. It's not much of a job but it's enough to be able to offer payments to my son's mother. She refuses the money and says that I can have no contact with my son unless I file for formal child support. This makes absolutely no sense on several levels. First of all, she had earlier claimed that she filed for child support but that it somehow got hung up (how?) Also, I made it clear that I'd rather send her money without court intervention. I told her that if she want court intervention, then she should visit a court. (That's how it normally works anyways right?)
So now I have to make decisions. In addition to continuing to save money for my son that she won't accept, should I also lawyer up? My main goal here is to be able to talk to and be able to visit my son. I really don't know what my strategy should be at this point. I'm lost. Any advice or insight would be useful thank you.
I have a five-year old child with a woman with whom I was never married. Until late 2014, everyone involved (myself, the child, the mother) lived in New York. This changed when the mother took the child and moved to Kansas to move in with her girlfriend. All of the child's family lived in New York and had no other relatives remotely close to Kansas. My son and his mother had lived with his grandmother for the first five years of his life. Financially, the grandmother supported the two of them more or less. On 90% of weekends, my son would stay with me and/or my father. I never had a child support order and rarely made "formal" payments to my son's mother. (Largely because of the fact that she was largely reliant on her mother.) Nonetheless, early on, I calculated percentages of my income and signed a piece of paper with her. Other support I provided was non-official/undocumented and was by means of regularly caring for him on weekends. After my son moved to Kansas, I decided to leave New York (with my own financial problems looming as well) and move to Arizona to live with my girlfriend.
The disputes between us emerged last year when she requested that I start sending her payments like I used to. I acknowledged this but told her it would have to wait a couple of months until I wasn't so broke. (Long story short: I was unemployed and going broke because of a failed business venture that had gone disastrously.) Fast forward to this January of 2015, I'm settled in Arizona and finally got a job. It's not much of a job but it's enough to be able to offer payments to my son's mother. She refuses the money and says that I can have no contact with my son unless I file for formal child support. This makes absolutely no sense on several levels. First of all, she had earlier claimed that she filed for child support but that it somehow got hung up (how?) Also, I made it clear that I'd rather send her money without court intervention. I told her that if she want court intervention, then she should visit a court. (That's how it normally works anyways right?)
So now I have to make decisions. In addition to continuing to save money for my son that she won't accept, should I also lawyer up? My main goal here is to be able to talk to and be able to visit my son. I really don't know what my strategy should be at this point. I'm lost. Any advice or insight would be useful thank you.
Establishing an Order: Mother Won't Allow Contact Until a Child Support Order is Entered
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